So we are having a bit of a trust issues here, as in who do you trust and who do you not. Some examples:
1- Last week someone who works for us stole all of CT and TJ's B-day money. It was not a small amount either. TJ left his in his room in a bag on his dresser, it may or may not have been visible. But, CT had his in his wallet in his backpack in his closet. Someone had to look hard for it. The problem is that it could have been any one of 3 people. We fired one, the one we most suspected. It is super frustrating.
2- Then later in the week when we had a flat, we picked some little boys up on the street who took us to the guy with the bicycle pump to pump it up. Soon after we realized the jack from our car was missing. Heaven knows we need that stupid thing and use it almost weekly lately. So now we had to buy a new one.
3- Then we went to get the car changed to another Haitians name, Johnny whom we do trust, out of Vlad, our former driver, whom we do not trust. And the dealer told Johnny he paid Vlad on the side when we bought our car from him. Who knows if this is true or if it is "normal" culture here etc. All I know is that we are super frustrated.
A friend here gave us a good piece of advice that has helped us in how we view our world here. He said "You have to understand that in the US the thing people seek most is equality. In Haiti the thing people seek the most is power. If you remember this, you will understand peoples' motivations better."
This week at St.Rock the town consulate got all the people together and threw a huge fit that he was not notified of our intentions. He was totally demeaning about us and rude to the people. After all the people left, he apologized to us. However, the message was already sent to the people, he is in charge. On the way down the mountain from St.Rock my kids were fighting because we passed a pack of crackers that had 5 crackers to 3 kids. Now that was "not fair". I started to realize maybe my friend was right.
Oh Whit, I am so sorry. That is awful. We haven't talked for a bit so you'll need to update me. Good luck, love you!
ReplyDeleteThat would be very hard to take. I know that even Rachel has had a hard time with this - the Nannies have stollen from her (maybe not the ones she has now) but it is very hard to have that trust broken. I hope you get things resolved in St. Rock - I'm sure this is a huge learning curve for all involved right now.
ReplyDeleteFascinating. I wonder if being aware of this power thing you can somehow use it to manage the situations you are in. If you can somehow make people feel empowered, while still privately maintaining control, maybe that would help? Like with a two year old: YOU get to choose, but really the parent is offerring the choices. They feel the power, but you are still managing the situation. Half the battle is figuring out what you have figured out, so you can work within it.
ReplyDeleteAs for stealing from the kids, that would make me furious! So frustrating!!!